Wednesday,16th july 2008
5:20:57 PM (IST)--
this part of my life...er...post is called revelation--I'm not good at keeping promises...NO SH**, you might say...,but NO, I'm serious....as serious as a fart in a closed,crowded elevator (my sister's friends are CONVINCED that I've done a phd in fartology.....I wonder why), as serious and grim as you would try to be in a "you-cant-make-me-smile" contest....this is unacceptable (more "unacceptable" than Tom Hanks was according to Stanley Tucci in "The Terminal") ....
this part is introspection-- I haven't been keeping the promises I made in my blog opener ,or as in my case, the "BOG" opener, which is just an euphemism for what I did with that first post....open the door to a stinky loo (there I go again!!....I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired with myself).
I haven't been STEALING stuff, like i promised (plagiarising, that's the word I used).
In a mail I sent out to ppl I said this would be "your daily dose of BS"....of which there hasn't been much :- ....I'm SO SORRY for not having been able to provide you with enough bovine crap (though there's no dearth of bovine intellect). This is FAR from the YOGI-BEAR blog I expected to write....and it is certainly not for want of trying. I just happened to read a friend's blog and before I reached the end of the 1st post I knew something was wrong....it was like something had gone "WHOOMP" in my head....and just like that I had contracted the deadly, unforgiving,CRUEL disease---PSEUDO-WRITER'S BLOCK. therapists say one way to overcome this illness is to write whatever that comes to mind, but i doubt that'll work for me, for I spent all afternoon listening to "BadgerBadgerBadger" and now all that comes to mind is "badger badger badger badger mushroom mushroom.....oh snake snake....oh its a snake"....that's not going to help much, is it?!......The say lack of inspiration might also be a reason, but I've got PLENTY of people around me at whom I can take a dig....(ok, THIS part of my post is called....BEING MEAN)I mean, how can I NOT poke fun at this girl in my Japanese class who let one rip (YIKES....SOMEBODY STOP ME!!) when the class was UNUSUALLY quiet. I could see the grim determination on her (Ms.M) face as she sat there with "clenched"...er.....er...._____, determined not to let out the dreaded "hoot" .......I could see sweat droplets form on her forehead, as she gave it her all.....I could almost hear her shout "FFRREEEEDDDDOOOMMMM"(a-la William Wallace)...on raged the battle for a good 5-10 mins during which there was much gnashing of teeth and clenching of fists and other parts of the body. But just as suddenly and fiercely as "it" had attacked, it left......she could hardly believe it , and my happiness knew no bounds ( for i was sitting RIGHT behind her diagonally to the right).....so you thought she'd beaten NATURE?!!....you LLIIAAR......I remember hearing a "squeak"(a ratatouille-esque squeak at that. Does THIS explain the title of the post?), which couldn't have been shoe-on-floor 'cause it's a carpeted room that we have our jap class in, and then my world went BLACK. I came to pretty soon, saw the look on her face (which was one of abject mortification) and doddered away to the back row gasping for breath. As i sat there regaining my composure, I PROMISED myself I wouldn't write or tell anyone about this. BUT I'M SORRY, THIS FIENDISH DISEASE MADE ME BREAK ANOTHER PROMISE.
We interrupt this post to bring you a message from the writer of this post----"Dear gullible readers, I would like nothing better than to continue beguiling you into wasting your time reading THIS, but I better end this monstrosity that's trying to morph itself into a blog before it destroys ME"
now back to our post---Mindless Blabbering part 1
This part of my post, this TINY part right here.....is called a STATUTORY HEALTH WARNING which I'm now obliged to give in every post following a directive from the U.N.D.I.E.S-United Nations Developing India's Economy Society, which for some reason thinks that such blogs can hamper India's economic growth.......so here i end this madness with a stupid little advisory--
Reading Mayank's blog is injurious to health. If u feel a sudden urge to rip your (or somebody else's) hair out (from the upper cranial portion of the anatomical structure, of course........ouch!!) then STOP reading IMMEDIATELY and let out a GOOD, LONG yell to release the frustration as prolonged exposure to THIS can result in extensive hair loss and mental trauma (which can be attributed to my not knowing the first thing about blogging)
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS:
I sincerely thank P-cube for UNSELFISHLY lending her time and thoughts to the naming of this post, my team mates for dumping work as high as a pile of brontosaurus poo on me and then going around doing NOTHING themselves, thus contributing towards total annihilation of my will to work.
Lastly i would like to thank the girl who unwittingly made this post possible by parting with...er....a milligram or two of methane. 'M', if it weren't for that rancid bubble (thank you Sacha, for that WONDERFUL acceptance speech), people wouldn't be reading this today. Keep up, i mean keep letting out the good work.
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